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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394382">under my skin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikoo/pseuds/chikoo'>chikoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chikoo's au snippets! [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, The Mortal Instruments AU, listen i have many feelings about parabatai seongjoong, no death dont worry lol, seongjoong are dumb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:21:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chikoo/pseuds/chikoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"When you love someone, you don't have a choice. Love takes your choices away."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chikoo's au snippets! [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682722</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>under my skin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>:((((((((( much feelings</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seonghwa stares at the way the faerie reaches out to rub Hongjoong’s chin, the way Hongjoong leans into it and smiles coquettishly, and he grips the rubber handle of his knife until his palm begins to hurt. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The faerie glances at Seonghwa, eyes flicking down to the defensive stance he’s in, and smirks even wider, amusement dancing in his eyes. San’s half-human and thus not as eerie, doesn’t make the hair on the back of Seonghwa’s neck stand up on end. But he’s still- strange. Beautiful and otherworldly and not to be trusted. Seonghwa can’t believe Hongjoong’s being so reckless, can’t believe he’s letting San touch him like that. San leans in close to Hongjoong’s ear, lips brushing the skin, and whispers something indecipherable, holding Seonghwa’s gaze with intensity. Seonghwa’s stomach burns. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seonghwa doesn’t garner the courage to ask Hongjoong what San told him until they’re gingerly making their way through a rank sewer, stepping in questionable filth and sludge. Seonghwa hates that this isn’t the first time they’ve had to do something like this. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hongjoong’s walking ahead of him, stele shining bright, darting left and right to catch a glimpse of any clue, any mark left behind the demon they’re tracking. Seonghwa maps the outline of his profile in the dim light and swallows. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“W-what did San tell you?” His voice is far too loud, bouncing off the walls. Hongjoong glances at him, squinting. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I told you, he said the Seelie Court found evidence of the demon underground, it’s hiding here, in the city’s sewers-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I meant, before he left. When he whispered to you. You two seemed awfully close.” Seonghwa flinches the second he says it. He sounds so plain, so transparent. He doesn’t look at Hongjoong but hears the way Hongjoong chuckles a little. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was just playing along with him Hwa, you know how fae are. They aren’t usually inclined to answer any questions we have so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to play it up a bit,” he says easily. The pit in Seonghwa’s stomach grows bigger, until it almost feels like Seonghwa can taste acid on his tongue. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know how dangerous that is, the fae aren’t creatures we can just <em> play </em>with-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, nothing happened right? He told us the truth, plain and simple. Besides, if he’d tried to glamour me or something, I’d have my parabatai to protect me, hmm?” </p>
<p>Hongjoong flashes a quick, fond smile at him. The bond rune they both share suddenly feels so much heavier on Seonghwa’s skin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Besides, you can’t grate on me for this, I remember the way that warlock was all over you at the party, and you- you didn’t push her off or anything. I thought I was gonna have to give you guys room or something,” Hongjoong mutters with a strange, chuffed laugh. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seonghwa frowns, stares at the harsh lines of Hongjoong’s face and for the first time, feels anger swell in him, making his skin itch. He stops and waits till Hongjoong notices the lack of movement and whirls around, tilting his head and looking at Seonghwa with a puzzled expression. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That doesn’t compare, you know that. Eden told me I needed to do anything possible to get information out of her, even seduce her if I must. I-I wasn’t, I was just doing my job-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know, Hwa. I know. You- I wasn’t trying to be vindictive or anything, you’re allowed to- you’re allowed to do that even if it wasn’t for a mission. You’re my best friend, my soulmate, I’m not going to hold you back,” he says with a lopsided smile on his face. Hongjoong’s always been hard to read, moving too fast for Seonghwa to pin down, always in a world of his own. When they’d undergone the parabatai ritual, the searing bond still fresh and bleeding on their skin, Seonghwa had looked at Hongjoong, felt his life-force, the power bubbling inside him and thought he would do anything to protect him, would stand behind him, a wall for Hongjoong to fall back on. Now, looking at Hongjoong’s face in the darkness of an underground sewer, the strain in his smile, the unreadable gleam in his eye, he wonders when Hongjoong became so much like a stranger. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wants to say something, desperation surging in his throat like a wave, stumbles towards Hongjoong who keeps fucking staring at him with that face, like Seonghwa’s <em> hurting </em>him when suddenly, the rune at the back of his neck burns, scalding his skin like a warning. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s too late. He doesn’t realise what’s happened until Hongjoong’s face morphs, coming closer and closer, eyes wide with horror, mouth open in a silent scream. The pain sears through him like thunder, and he looks down in confusion at the gaping hole in his chest, at the blood pouring out. He’s absently aware he’s on the ground, and when he lifts his head, he can see the hazy outline of the demon casing the walls, brandishing a sharp, whip-like tail tipped in Seonghwa’s blood. He tries to keep his gaze on Hongjoong, watching the way the scream turns into a roar, eyes blazing with a dangerous fire Seonghwa’s never seen in him before. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watches Hongjoong leap up, flipping his daggers with ease and chasing the demon over the domed walls. Watches him plunge the daggers into the demon’s body violently, slashing and ripping till the creature turns to dust. For a moment, Seonghwa’s vision fades, blank darkness enveloping him, almost welcoming, and he wants to stay here, likes the calmness-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hwa! Fuck, Seonghwa listen to me, listen to my voice.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seonghwa’s pulled back, jolting his eyes open to find Hongjoong leaning above him, streaks of blood and tears on his face. He still looks so devastatingly beautiful. He laughs, a choked sound, and shakes his head. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not beautiful, don’t-don’t fucking say that if you don’t mean it the way I want you to.” His voice is raw and his eyes wide and for the first time, Seonghwa can see right through him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck, I can-the bond feels weak, don’t you fucking dare die on me, Park Seonghwa, you <em> asshole. </em>” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seonghwa laughs, wheezes really, grabbing at Hongjoong’s trembling fingers. He’s right, their bond pulses slowly between them, as if it’s fading. He brings Hongjoong’s hand down to his chest, to rest on the bond rune right above his heart. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve called the others, Yunho’s close by, we’re gonna take you home and you’ll be fine, you’ll be healed, just, just stay awake, Hwa,” he mumbles, drawing quick, shaky runes all over Seonghwa’s exposed skin, transferring strength and energy into his body, closing up the wound as much as possible. Seonghwa hums, feels Hongjoong’s life-force course through him but it’s not enough to keep him conscious and he knows he’s going to pass out soon, he’s lost too much blood. Hongjoong must know it too because he grits his teeth and his mouth quivers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need more time, I thought I had more time with you,” Hongjoong murmurs, reaching a shaky hand up to cup Seonghwa’s cheek. “You wanna know what San said to me? He said I need to stop running around looking for answers before the person who can give them all to me is left behind. He meant you, he knew how much you meant to me. You- you are everything to me, I’m sorry I’ve been so <em> blind. </em>” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Seonghwa smiles, drinking in the devotion in Hongjoong’s eyes, reflected in his own. When the edges of his vision begin to fade again, it doesn’t feel frightening, with Hongjoong’s hands clasped in his own, the sound of his voice soothing him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He lets himself fall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>find me on twt at fightmehyuk!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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